I always worried that I would never find love while having a stoma, how could I find someone who would like me enough to bypass my stoma?
Finding love is hard enough as it is! As an adult I have come to realise this, no matter how ‘perfect’ you are it doesn’t always work out.
It can be really scary dating with a medical condition but I have always felt with a stoma it is particularly daunting. No one wants to talk about bodily functions, particularly to someone they fancy.
A lot of my dating life was spent online due to COVID-19 so it was difficult to know who might be put off by my medical history. I didn’t always talk about it but when I did it was definitely a good icebreaker. Being different is good now, but the fear of rejection can be really overwhelming and I was so worried I would fall in love with someone who couldn’t accept me and my body.
I met Chris in November 2020, by this point I was pretty open about my medical past and I was very certain I would be getting my stoma back. I didn’t wait too long to tell Chris this because I didn’t want to fall in love with someone and then have it all taken away. When I told him he wasn’t the slightest bit deterred, in fact he took an interest.
Nine months into our relationship I went for my surgery, I was still slightly worried he would change his mind and decide I wasn’t right for him but he stuck by me.
If anything our relationship only started to get better! Chris was used to seeing me running to the bathroom, sometimes not making it in time and struggling with pain without knowing how to help me so it was a welcome relief for him too. Because I started to feel healthier we could do more together, days out were much less stressful and holidays were easier to manage.
I feel so lucky in love having someone so caring in my life. Chris proposed to me in December so we are in the full swing of wedding planning. As a child with a stoma I used to wonder if I would ever get married but now all I have to worry about is wearing a white dress for a day whilst eating, drinking and dancing!
Living with a stoma you start to find the fun in everything, I have so many bag related memories with Chris that we can laugh about now such as night time bag bursts at 3am. I have still got a pretty long medical road ahead but I am so glad I have someone along with me for the journey.
Your stoma should never stop you from finding love, the right person is out there for you, I promise!
