There are many misconceptions about stomas, and I always like to address these when they arise in conversation. As I am open and honest I have no problems with talking about my stoma. It is during these conversations that misconceptions come up, and we need to talk about them to change people’s views, as some views can be very negative.
The misconception that comes up the most is “aren’t they just for elderly people?” I find this one interesting, because in reality how many elderly people do you know with a stoma? So where did this misconception even come from? The actual reality is anyone of any age can have a stoma. I know babies, young children, teenagers, right through the ages of adulthood that have stomas. I know more people in the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s that have stomas than I do the elderly. Elderly people do not get to age when all of a sudden their bowels give up! It is a crazy misconception!
This next misconception I find hilarious, people believe stomas are not hygienic and smell. Well of course they can smell when you change the bag, that goes without saying, that is no different to someone without a stoma going to the toilet. But to say they smell all other times is laughable. Where do people get these misconceptions from? Funnily enough a lot of people with stomas are very conscious of smells. I have been in the past, you almost find yourself sniffing yourself, you smell something strange in the air and you instantly think “well that must be my stoma.” Of course it isn’t, and I wonder if it is because of people’s misconceptions that we ostomates think our stomas smell. Then there is people that believe they are not hygienic! I love that one, they are super hygienic, why are they hygienic? Because we can see it, we can clean it, they are straightforward to look after. The skin is not covered in poo, that goes in the bag. So we give the stoma a wipe and we can clean the skin around the stoma in preparation for a new bag, so they are perfectly hygienic. I often say to people that make that comment “I can guarantee my stoma is cleaner than your bottom because I can see my stoma!” It normally gets a laugh from that comment.
Then we have the comments about not being able to wear ‘normal’ clothes, what are normal clothes. Again this is a funny comment because when it is said to me I am wearing whatever I want, I am not wearing specialist clothing hahaha. Yes I have to be careful what I have around my waist as the waist of jeans, trousers etc can put pressure on the stoma especially if I am wearing a belt on the jeans or trousers. But it does not stop me from wearing what I want. I look at other ostomates and they always look great wearing whatever they want.
Oh and let’s not forget about this next one, “does that come off in water?” NO! I have had some very odd looks at swimming pools and I have even had nasty comments such as “you better not be getting in the pool with that?” This just comes down to ignorance and lack of knowledge. In the past I have written on the front of my bag “I DO NOT COME OFF IN WATER.” It does amuse me, do people ever wonder why there is chlorine in pools, it is to kill off germs yes, but it also deals with urine in pools, I bet people of all ages have peed in a pool! Yet those same people will make comments about my bag! Hahahaha. It sure does amuse me. I have video footage of me going down some really strong water chutes and the bag did not move. I love swimming in the sea, I can swim in the sea for ages and not even salt water affects the bag, ok if you spend a few hours in the water then yes it will have an impact. But we do not swim for a few hours at a time.
Some people think we have to carry loads of supplies around with us when we go out. I certainly don’t carry loads, if I go out for the whole day I will probably only take two bags out with me and the little black bags to put them in if I have to change the bag.
I have also often heard people say it will ruin your sex life and you will not look attractive, that just is not true either. I would go into more detail about this topic but I will be writing a whole piece on intimacy with a stoma, so look out for that one, it will be interesting!
There are probably many more, but I would say the ones I have written are the most common. What misconceptions have you heard? Or what sort of comments have you had? I would be interested to hear them.
Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed this one.
Kind regards