I’m sure that most people who are soap opera fans are aware of the current story line in Coronation Street; Bethany Platt has been given a stoma as a result of contracting sepsis following a botched plastic surgery procedure. Whilst the circumstances surrounding the stoma may be different to most of ours, but it has been interesting watching and listening to the reactions of Bethany’s family and friends. Words that come immediately to mind are disbelief, shock, revulsion, pity and fear. This made me think further about just how crucial the awareness we raise is, whether its to reassure new ostomates or to enlighten the public. So I thought that I’d use the above observations and my subsequent thoughts as the basis for this blog.
1. Emergency surgery:
I was reminded that stomas are created for a number of different reasons. It’s not just bowel disease that results in stoma surgery and any unexpected, non-planned stoma surgery is traumatic. The shock and disbelief must be overwhelming in such cases and totally understandable and therefore the more exposure we can give ourselves as ostomates could only be a good thing; people seeing us wearing ostomy products confidently and proudly might take away the old-fashioned taboos and the secrecy or shame.
2. Revulsion:
Accepting having a stoma as a new and different way of going to the toilet is a mindset that is difficult to get to but nonetheless helps to normalise having the stoma. They really are a fascinating piece of engineering that helps us get back to leading a normal life. It’s something I try to highlight via my social media, as do many of my ostomate friends, and we show our stoma bags and send out messages regarding body confidence on a regular basis.
3. Pity or sympathy?
Maybe it is a natural and understandable reaction for people to show pity and sympathy towards ostomates; after all who would honestly want this “thing” stuck on their abdomen spurting poo into a bag? Well I would for one! I think that many people in my experience don’t fully understand exactly what IBD is and the level of pain and misery it inflicts. We are doing our best to spread that message via social media posts, blogs and podcasts as well as giving presentations and attending events. In my case certainly, if more people had shown more sympathy and understanding having had a better awareness of what I was going through with my UC, maybe I could have coped better and not felt so isolated.
4. Fear:
People with an ostomy often fear that they are suddenly unarttractive, cannot enjoy a loving relationship, cannot lead a “normal” life, cannot enjoy sports or travel. This is a myth. I am not so naive as to think that some of these might be difficult for some, and that some ostomates may experience issues and problems, but others don’t. It certainly isn’t the end of everything. I am grateful every day to have had my life back! Having a positive attitude is something I know has helped me survive. Accepting Homer the stoma as something that has turned my life round aided my recovery and has enabled me to become part of a wonderful community where we share our journeys and endeavour to support others by raising awareness daily.
For me, raising awareness has been a fundamental aspect of my post surgery life. Having a stoma is emotional, it is something new to grapple with and it can be overwhelming. But it is important for ostomates to know that they are not alone. Raising awareness gives people crucial information, support, encouragement and friendship. Having a stoma is nothing to be ashamed of, but can be celebrated as something life-saving as well as life-changing and I am definitely grateful every day for mine. If anyone out there is struggling to accept your stoma, give yourself time to recover, heal and learn to love yourself again. I actively encourage you to look for a support network among the ostomate community and I can assure you that you will make friends for life.
